Barely Breathing
by jarkin33
Summary: A love taken for granted, we don't always realize what we have until it's gone. "They say bad things happen for a reason and I'd like to believe that's true." A story about realizing what's important. Edward & Bella AH
1. Chapter 1

**Stephenie Meyer owns these characters... I just wanted to play a bit. No copyright infringement intended. ****I don't own Twilight and everything here is fictional.**

**This is my first real attempt to write anything so I beg you, please be kind! All you authors who do this regularly I'm in awe of you. I can't believe how nervewracking this is.**

**Mary, Jess, Rachel, Corey, Kim & Heather - thank you for everything. You are the ones who made me think I might be able to do this. Seriously, I'm a reader... not a writer!**

**COREY - I almost have no words for how much you have helped me .. oh wait.. I do - They are THANK YOU! Thank you for the encouragement, the pushing and the inflating of my ego... I'm not worthy of it but I appreciate it.**

**So - this idea has been swirling around in my head for a week or so now and I decided after much prodding to give it a shot! Some of the lyrics from the song **_**Breakeven by The Script**_** are included as that was sort of my inspiration here. (loosely my inspiration)**

**If you are so inclined please go have a listen... the song is one of my faves.**

**On with the show I suppose -**

**Barely Breathing**

Chapter One

Edward POV

I still remember the day I met Bella. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. 5'6", long, wavy brown hair, she had a pair of jeans and a shitty Stones tee shirt on that day… I don't even like the Rolling Stones. I couldn't tell you what I went into the bookstore to find, but I left with her number and a promised date for that weekend. We were inseparable and intensely passionate from the start.

A few years ago, I worked my way up to junior partner at my law firm. That title equates to working long days, nights and weekends. Not once did Bella complain when I dragged my ass home at two in the morning just to turn around and get up at six to make it to the office on time. I didn't really acknowledge the sacrifice either. I was doing it for her… for us. So someday we'd have the security and the life that I wanted to provide for her. I didn't know it was taking this big of a toll on us. I was so wrapped up in my work and what was happening with my career that I didn't consider how it affected her… us. It never occurred to me that she wasn't happy.

Bella had made dinner plans for us on Wednesday evening that I was forced to cancel. Something came up with the case I was working, nothing major, but I wanted to get it done, and so I stayed late at the office. Unfortunately, Bella was already at the restaurant when my secretary called to let her know I wouldn't be able to make it. I wrapped things up and walked through the door around 11pm, looking forward to crawling into bed with her. The long hours had taken a toll on the time we spent together, but we never had a problem connecting physically. I was greeted by Bella sitting on our couch, in our living room, in our apartment with a packed bag at her feet.

"Bella, baby, what are you doing?"

"Edward, I just can't do this anymore."

"Do what, exactly, Bella?"

I walked over and sat down next to her. She was holding her head in her hands and I could tell she'd been crying most of the night. The tears had dried on her flushed cheeks, but the sadness was still evident. I could see it in her posture, the redness in her eyes and the exhaustion in her expression.

"This Edward…us." With those words, I knew she had given up on me… on us.

Stunned, I watched her pick up her suitcase and head towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to be staying at Alice's for a couple days. I'll let you know when I get settled and we'll work all the other details out. I just can't think about it anymore tonight."

She stopped at the side table by our front door and laid a small box on top of it. Her fingers rested on it briefly, then let it go and walked out the door.

The sound of the door catching, was like thunder in the silent apartment.

I felt the burn of the tears in my eyes as I couldn't hold them back any longer. I stood from the couch and walked over to the table. I picked up the small black box and slowly opened it. Inside, nestled amongst the black velvet was a thick platinum band and a small piece of paper… the same paper that she wrote her phone number on the day I met her, I would know that piece of paper anywhere… and in Bella's small script were the words 'please marry me.'

Bella left me two days ago. _They say bad things happen for a reason_ and I'd like to believe that's true, but it's getting harder and harder to do. I want to call her, I want to go to her and tell her _that the best part of me was always you_ and I want to remind her of what we had. I want her to know that _I'm falling to pieces_ without her… _I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing_. _She took her suitcase and I took the blame._

**End A/N**

**Review?**

**I can be found quite easily on twitter at jaimearkin and please check out the fics by those authors that both inspire me and made me wanna try something this crazy. They can be found on my faves page - breakfastatbellas, teambella23, twilightheaded23, forbidden-fruit81, nerac, antiaol, lillybellis, georgeygirl, FL95, Hezpixie just to name a few. **

**On a side note - chapters will be short, but it's totally written so updates will be quick :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Stephenie Meyer owns these characters... I just wanted to play a bit. No copyright infringement intended. I don't own Twilight.**

**To my beloved Mary – I couldn't have even attempted this without you telling me I could. Also – you're stuck with me for life… get used to it.**

**Corey… thank you so much for making this something readable. You are so incredibly talented and someday wanna write as pretty as you! Xoxo**

**Everyone who has read or reviewed… thank you from the bottom of my heart. You make the nerves go away!**

**Chapter Two**

Bella's POV

I love Edward in ways that are impossible to explain. But, I wonder now if it is enough. From the moment he walked into my bookstore I was captivated. I fell hook, line and sinker for the man with the bronze, unruly hair and piercing green eyes and there was no turning back. I was his completely. He laid on the charm and sweet-talked me into giving him my phone number with the promise of a call and a date. Honestly, he could have asked for _anything_ that day and I would have given it to him.

Five years. That's how long I've loved him. I'll love him forever, but I can't continue to pretend that I'm happy with the life we have right now. In a good week, I see him for a couple of hours a day and I use the term 'see' loosely. Usually, it's when he's crawling into bed early in the morning hours and then crawling back out of bed a few hours later. I understand that his job is demanding and that he's committed to it, it's one of the reasons I fell in love with him. When he knows what he wants, he doesn't just do it half-assed. Five years. But in those five years, there hasn't been one mention of where our relationship is ultimately heading. Of course we talk about the future in general terms like, where will we live and what we will be doing and what our friends might be doing, but not once have we broached the actual subject of marriage… our marriage. I want that with him, more than anything. I want to be tied to him in every possible way.

So on Wednesday, I made a plan. I called his secretary to 'schedule' an evening out for us. He had to know it was important if I actually scheduled something. I decided I was going to ask Edward to marry me. I know it isn't traditional, but I don't care. Besides, it will give us a story to tell our grandkids. Grandkids… now there's a wonderful thought about the future! I had to figure out how to do it. I contemplated what grand gesture he would appreciate. However, when I think back on all of our happiest times there was nothing _grand_ about any of them. They were just us… together. I want it to be easy, as easy as the day I met him and I had an idea.

When I rushed home that afternoon to get everything ready before I had to meet Edward at the restaurant, I went to our bookshelf and found the photo album that contained five years of memories. Five years of love, laughter, tears and joy and I found the little sheet of paper I was looking for. Very carefully, I cut off the lower portion and sat down at our desk. I took a deep breath. I slowly and carefully wrote 'please marry me' on the small sheet of paper. Then I took the little black box out of my purse. I slid the note inside, nestling it against the platinum band I picked out for him. I knew he'd love it.

After showering I decided what to wear. I picked out one of Edward's favorite dresses. I zipped up the deep burgundy halter top dress that fell just above my knee. I slipped into a pair of strappy three inch black heels. The first time I wore this dress we were an hour late to dinner with Alice and Jasper. Remembering the way he looked at me that entire night gave me butterflies in the pit of my stomach. With one final look in the mirror, I smoothed the front of my dress and headed out to the restaurant. I was a bit early so I took a seat at the bar. I ordered a dirty martini and took a few deep breaths. I reminded myself that everything was going to be fine. I glanced at my watch and noticed Edward was about 15 minutes late. Not surprised, I went back to my drink and started fiddling with my blackberry when suddenly it rang. I instantly recognized the number. Jane, Edward's secretary was calling and I knew it could only be bad news.

"Hi Bella."

"Jane, to what do I owe the pleasure tonight?"

"Edward asked me to call you and let you know that he isn't going to make dinner, I hope I caught you before you got to the restaurant."

I could feel the tears threatening but I forced them back.

"No Jane, actually I'm here waiting already."

"Oh I'm so sorry… It looks like it might be a late night, what with this case he's working on. How about I have him give you a call in a little bit?"

"No, that's ok Jane, I'll just head home and I'll see him when he gets in tonight. Thanks."

With a click she was gone, and the tears won. I quickly threw a twenty dollar bill on the bar, grabbed my purse and rushed out. I climbed into my car, laid my head on the steering wheel and let the tears flow. I wrapped my arms around my torso as it felt like I was falling to pieces. I could barely breathe and my heart was breaking.

I finally pulled myself together enough to drive to our apartment. I scanned the home we had made for ourselves. I moved over to the shelf holding my favorite picture of us. We were so happy that day. A few years ago Alice, Jasper, Edward and I decided to head out of the city to relax a little. We drove to a small pumpkin farm to pick apples. When we got to the farm, we went on a hayride. It was a perfect day. Alice took that particular picture, I was leaning against Edward's strong chest and he had his arms around me and we are gazing at each other like there was nothing better in this world. I'm not sure I had been that happy since. Shortly before it was taken, Edward made junior partner and here we are…

Since then, it's as though he's taken me for granted, like I'll just always be here. I have never felt so lonely. I headed to our bedroom, looking at the bed I can almost feel him. We have always been incredible together. God he could make me feel things I never imagined were possible. Sex has never been a problem for us. Except, lately it's more like _my _room as Edward is rarely home long enough to be considered living in this place. Tears were falling furiously and I didn't even bother wiping them away. I reached into our closet and grabbed a small suitcase. I haphazardly put clothes into the bag then grabbed my favorite picture from the pumpkin farm. I couldn't leave without it. Then I sat on the couch and waited.

Shortly before 11PM I heard his footsteps outside our door and the key in the lock.

I could tell he was surprised to see me sitting there awake, much less with a packed bag at my feet. He scanned the room and then looked directly at me and asked, "Bella, baby, what are you doing?"

"Edward, I just can't do this anymore."

"Do what, exactly, Bella?"

He sat down next to me on the couch, and I knew that he noticed the tear tracks on my cheeks and the defeated appearance of my posture and my red, bloodshot eyes.

"This Edward…us." With those words, I felt like I'd given up on us.

I picked up my suitcase and headed for the door. I reached into the pocket of my grey hoodie I changed into a couple of hours ago and rubbed the velvet box with my thumb.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I'm going to be staying at Alice's for a couple days. I'll let you know when I get settled and we'll work all the other details out. I just can't think about this anymore tonight."

I stopped at the side table by our front door and laid the small black box on top of it, resting my hand on it for just a moment and then I walked out the door and it felt like I had just left my whole heart in that apartment with him.

The sound of the door catching, was like thunder in the silent hallway.

**A/N**

**Please let me know what you think in the reviews!**

**Also – please go check out some of the blogs I work on…**

**Indieficpimp - indieficpimp . blogspot .com/**

**Teambella23 - teamcloserward . blogspot . com/**

**Wayward Pushers - theficpusher. Blogspot . com/**

**Twisted in Slash - twistedinslash . blogspot . com/**

**Moving Pictures - breakfastatbellas . blogspot . com/**

**Mens Rea - teammensrea . blogspot . com/**

**AND – as if that wasn't enough begging on my part, please go check out the following fic. The authors updated last night and it definitely deserves your attention!**

**Irreconcilable Differences by AnonySwan & AnonyCullen – incredibly hot and so good!**

**www . fanfiction . net / s / 5896780 / 1 /**

**just remove spaces from all those links! xoxo -jaime**


	3. Chapter 3

**Stephenie Meyer owns these characters... I just wanted to play a bit. No copyright infringement intended. ****I don't own Twilight.**

**Corey – you are an incredible woman and I'm lucky to know you… seriously. **

**Thank you everyone for the overwhelming response to this. You have made this experience so perfect. I hope you enjoy the rest of this crazy little thing. **

Chapter 3

Bella's POV

Alice has been wonderful. She hasn't asked about the other night yet, and I haven't offered anything. I just need to think everything through. I have barely stopped crying in the two days since I walked out of our apartment or is it _his_ apartment now... I left my life there and I'm afraid of what that means for me. Over the past five years we have been building a life together. Did I just throw that away? We haven't talked yet, although he did try to call me shortly after I left our apartment. I couldn't bring myself to answer, he didn't leave a message and he hasn't tried again. I wonder if he's been working, eating, sleeping… I wonder if he's affected by this as much as I am.

Today, I'm dragging myself out of this house and going over to my bookstore. I can't bear to think about it all day again, questioning my decisions and worrying about what he might be doing. I throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, tie up my black Nike's and head out.

I love my store. I graduated with a degree in English Literature, but I never did have the desire to teach. Books have always been an outlet for me. I'll read anything and everything, so purchasing this store when it went on the market was a simple decision. I can lose myself here for hours. I feel at peace. This place also brought me Edward. He swears he came here that day for a specific book, though he didn't purchase anything and he can't remember what it was he was looking for. He can, however, remember with perfect clarity what I was wearing, what I smelled like and how ecstatic he was that I gave him my phone number. Tears surface in my eyes again as I wonder where things went wrong. When did we lose ourselves in his job and make everything a priority except us? Have we changed that much? I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I steel myself to the idea that 'us' may in fact be no more. I have no idea what he is thinking and I'm not sure I could handle the truth if I asked him. I resolve to not think about this anymore today. There are books to be inventoried and shelved. When I walk into the front of the store, Bree, my youngest employee is sitting at the front counter reading one of the Twilight books… again.

"Bree, I'm going to start shelving some books, if you want to hang out up here and finish your book that's cool."

"Sure Bella, thanks!"

I need to expand the home improvement section. I begin going through the latest books we've received and take notes on what we might still need. I don't hear the bells over the door jingle and I most certainly don't notice the man standing next to me until he clears his throat.

"Excuse me."

"Oh hi, can I help you? Are you looking for something specific?"

"Actually, I am. I'm looking for a book on plumbing. I should just hire someone I know, but I just purchased an older place, I'm hoping to learn a few things." He explains while staring intently at me.

"Well, you are in the right section." I point at the sign above the shelves that says Home Improvement.

His gaze is slightly unnerving. He's a good looking guy, over six feet tall, well built, short dark spiky hair and deep brown eyes. I decide to break the ice…

"I'm Bella, by the way." I say, putting my hand out.

He grasps my hand in a half shake and says, "I'm Jacob… well, Jake… call me Jake."

"Well, hi Jake… have a look around and let me know if you need anything at all." I say pulling my hand slowly back. His hands are large and warm, but they aren't the hands I want.

"Thanks" he says and the stare returns.

"Well, I'll just be over here if you need any more help."

I feel his eyes track me as I move to another section of the store. This meeting has brought back too many memories… memories of when Edward walked into the store, the feel of his hand in mine the first time we touched, the look in his eyes as he noticed me for the first time, the immediate response that I had to have him. I felt none of those with this man Jacob… or Jake. Lost in my thoughts, I hear a throat clearing for a second time and notice he's come around the corner again. He has a book in his hand and he looks as though he's ready to check out.

"Oh, if you're ready, Bree can ring you up at the front counter."

"Thanks Bella… for pointing me in the right direction."

He nervously shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

"Bella… I have to ask… could I maybe get your number? I'd love to take you out sometime."

My heart drops to my stomach and I freeze. I don't know how to politely react. So, I do what any normal person would do in this situation… I run. I run back to my office and collapse into the chair. I bury my face into my arms on my desk and succumb to the emotion. If this truly is the end of Edward and me, how am I going to make it through a single day without being overwhelmed by the memories I have here at the shop? Through my tears I can see another picture from happier times of Edward and me that rests on my desk. Bree appears at the door of my office, she looks worried.

"Hey Bella, you okay?"

"Yeah Bree, it's just been a rough couple of days for me."

"Anything you want to talk about?" she asks.

I sighed deeply. "No, just some things I need to really think about and decisions I need to make."

"Well, I'm here if you need a shoulder."

"Thanks Bree… I appreciate it." I reply to her as she heads back to the front of the store.

I glance at the picture again and really focus on Edward in it. Edward…so gorgeous, inside and out. From the day we met, he has treated me as if I was a precious treasure. So many nights he would whisper how lucky he was to have found me and how he would take care of me… forever. Yet, over the past year, while I knew he still cherished me, sex was the only way we really truly connected. And even that bond was beginning to diminish. With him working so much I found myself alone most of the time. I just want more of him and less of the material things the benefits of his job provides. I miss the simplicity of our relationship. I miss _him._

Suddenly, I'm overcome with determination. I'm not ready to give up. I won't give up. We've invested five years in our love for each other. That love hasn't gone away and I know it never will. I know what I need to do, even if it took a miserable two days to discover. I grab my bag and dash to the front of the store, running out the door, I yell to Bree to please lock up at closing time. I'm going to fight for Edward… for us.

**A/N**

**Reviews make me smile! **

**So what to say today – thank you – from the bottom of my heart for being so kind everyone!**

**My rec's – as stated last chapter most can be found on the blogs I work on but I'm just going to tell you the below are MUST READS! **

**Righteous & Wicked by cherry . blossomz ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 6219181 / 1 /**

**Somewhere Between Crimson & Blue by antiaol www . fanfiction . net / s / 5810120 / 1 / - it's complete**

**We Come to Life Beneath the Stars by LillyBellis www . fanfiction . net / s / 6058476 / 1 / **

**Moving Pictures by Breakfastatbellas www . fanfiction . net / s / 5925609 / 1 /**

**And of course my girl's Revelry by TeamBella23 www . fanfiction . net / s / 5679414 / 1 /**


	4. Chapter 4

**Stephenie Meyer owns these characters... I just wanted to play a bit. No copyright infringement intended. ****I don't own Twilight.**

**Corey – please don't ever leave me alone… ****you have made this an incredible experience – please everyone go read Moving Pictures – she's the reason this is all pretty! www . fanfiction . net / s / 5925609 / 1 /**

**Thank you everyone for the overwhelming response to this. I'm just blown away!**

**A few questions have come up – I just wanted to let you know that this is a short story… so we're closing in on the last few chapters. It's the first time I've tried writing something so this is only a snapshot in time for these two. I hope you enjoy! Will post once a day until complete.**

**Now- on to see what our lovely Edward has been doing!**

Chapter 4

Edward's POV

The past couple of days since Bella left me have been the worst of my existence. I was devastated when I realized what her plan for that evening had been. When, I finally dragged my ass to our bedroom, I saw her discarded dress and heels on the floor. The dress was one of my favorites, although Bella could wear a paper sack and I'd think she was gorgeous. Deep burgundy in color, it made her skin sparkle and showed off all her assets. I still remember the first time I saw her in it. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I distinctly remember calling Jasper to let him know we'd be running late for dinner that evening. I picked the dress up off the floor and headed towards our bed, kicking off my shoes along the way. I crawled into the middle of our bed, nestled into her pillow and grasped her dress. I could still smell the perfume she wore that evening. Not overwhelming, just a hint of freesia… distinctly Bella. I thought to myself…_this can't be the end. I wasn't ready to let go of her. I would do whatever she_ _needed me to do._

I jumped up and ran to the living room where my phone lay on the coffee table. I snatched it up and dialed her number. After three rings it went to her voicemail and I was suddenly at a loss for words. I wondered… _how do I tell this woman that I love and adore her and how do I tell her not to give up on 'us'. How do I say I'm sorry and have her believe me and how do I tell her that I can't have a life without her. How do I make her see that I'm nothing without her and no matter what she says she will always have my heart. How do I do all that without some sort of grand gesture? What if she doesn't want_ _that with me anymore?_ I pressed end on my phone and laid it on the table next to our bed… or is it _my_ bed now. I didn't know what to think and I most certainly didn't know what to do. I crawled back into bed with Bella's pillow and dress and fell into a restless sleep.

I woke up very early the next morning. I realized there is no way I could go into the office. So I called Jane's desk and left her a message. I spent an entire 24 hours in bed wallowing and searching for answers. Thinking of all the ways I took her for granted… how I took us for granted.

Today, I know I have to do something, so I grab my phone from the table and dial Emmett's number.

"Hey Eddie my boy, what's up this early in the morning?"

I clear my throat, "Not much Emmett, I just wanted to let you know that I wouldn't be coming into the office today, and was hoping you'd be able to handle anything regarding the case that comes up on your own?"

I can hear the concern in his voice as he says, "Yeah, sure man, no problem. Is something wrong?"

I must sound like shit, I'm emotionally exhausted. "Just some stuff going on at home. I probably won't be in the next couple of days if that's okay."

"Don't worry about the case, I've got that handled. Now tell me what's going on."

I've known Emmett since law school. He's a couple years older than me, but when I passed the bar, he convinced the Senior Partners at the firm we work at that they needed to hire me. We've worked together closely since then. I even stood up as a groomsman in his wedding. I take a deep breath and let it all spill out. I explain what happened the other night. He knew I had plans to have dinner with Bella, and while the case we were working on was important there was nothing that should have kept me at the office like it did. Nothing worth cancelling dinner plans with the woman I love over anyway and he says as much. I tell him what happened when I got home and what I later discovered that she had planned.

I hear him say "shit" under his breath after I pause. "What were you thinking Edward? Why would you cancel on her like that?"

"I don't know Emmett. I was just working and it never bothered her before… at least I never thought it bothered her… She never complained. What's that saying 'hindsight is 20/20?'"

"When I walked in the door and saw her sitting there with a packed bag, my whole world stood still."

"Have you talked to her yet?"

"No, Emmett, I didn't know what to say and I don't know what I'm going to do if this is really it. What if she's ready to move on from me, what if she's ready to find someone new?"

"First things first, Eddie… you need to talk to her. Tell her the things you're telling me. She needs to know that she isn't an afterthought in your life."

"I know, you're absolutely right. Thanks man, for listening and for covering for me."

"Whatever you need I'm here, just say the word. Rosalie too… just call Bella ok?"

"I will. I'll talk to you soon."

I head over to our desk and sit down. I notice a photo album sitting out. I open it slowly knowing it holds evidence of happier times. I see the piece of paper with Bella's phone number on it, from the day we met. I kept that piece of paper in my wallet for a year. It was a reminder to me of the day that my life changed. Was the same piece of paper going to be the catalyst to another change, one I didn't want? I thumbed through the pages of incredible memories of us and the life that we were building together. I noticed there were fewer pictures and keepsakes in the past year. Why didn't I notice how my job was taking over our lives? We didn't even get time away together anymore because of me.

How did things get so complicated? Everything about Bella and I had been natural from the start. Our relationship progressed quickly. We only dated for four months before we moved in together and were inseparable after our first date. Our physical relationship was incredible and only got better as time progressed. I felt things for Bella that I had never felt before. That physical connection had been missing as of late. With the hours I was working our time together had definitely diminished and to say I missed it would be an understatement.

I get up from the desk and walk over to my dresser. I really don't know why we had never talked about marriage. I thought it was just understood that it would happen in the future. I opened up the small top drawer of the dresser digging under my boxers and find the box I've been holding on to for the last four years. I knew from the moment I met Bella that she was the one… that I'd ask her eventually, but the time never seemed right, and we never really discussed it so I kept putting it off, until finally it was only something I thought of occasionally. I open up the box and look at the ring I had picked out all those years ago. It was a simple 1 carat square cut diamond solitaire set in platinum. I placed the box Bella left next to mine. Staring at them side by side, they might as well be a matched pair. Suddenly, I know what I have to do.

I grab both boxes and my keys. I'm out the door and down the elevator in just a few seconds.

Bella will be at her store and that's where I'm heading. I hit the pavement outside _our _apartment and turn down the block. When I glance up I see her running towards me. Shoving the boxes inside the pocket of my hoodie, I begin running in her direction. She looks as shitty as I do, but she's still beautiful… she's my Bella. We finally reach each other, stopping within a few inches of touching.

"I'm sorry." We say simultaneously.

While I know our problems aren't magically solved, I can't help myself from reaching out to her. Reactively, she leaps into my arms and wraps her long legs tightly around me. I bury my face in her neck and breathe her in. I can feel her warm heat pushed against my hard length and I can't believe I almost lost this, this feeling of being complete. I set her on the ground and cradle her face in my hands. Using my thumbs, I roughly wipe away the tears that have begun to fall from her gorgeous brown eyes. I place my face right in front of hers with our noses just barely touching. I press my forehead to hers, feeling her sweet breath on my face and I whisper "Come home to me."

"Yes."

**A/N**

**Review? I'd love to hear your thoughts!**

**I'm totally taking advantage while posting this and sharing some of my favorite stories – ones I think you should all be reading (if you aren't already)! yes if you can't already tell I'm a complete fich00r.**

**Giofógach by ltlerthqak ****www . / s / 6255401 / 1 /**

**Surviving Bella by Savage7289 ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 6049832 / 1 /**

**The Art of Breaking by jdbeaner ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 6192792 / 1 /**

**Let's Get Physical by lalina ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 6063965 / 1 /**

**A Pound of Flesh by jaxon22 ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 5926016 / 1 /**

**The Cullen Campaign by belladonna1472 ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 5853742 / 1 /**

**Dead on My Feet by Cesca Marie ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 6007656 / 1 /**

**Secret Sex by erinbatt ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 5806017 / 1 /**

**Tuesday's Gone by nerac ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 5944960 / 1 /**

**Hints of Me by 22blue ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 5560803 / 1 /**

**Million Dollar Baby by clpsuperstar ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 5983247 / 1 /**


	5. Chapter 5

**Stephenie Meyer owns these characters... I just wanted to play a bit. No copyright infringement intended. ****I don't own Twilight.**

**Corey – if people like this, they should thank you… flove you and there are no words. Thank you for talking me off the ledge during this process. So excited for what's on the horizon for you and Kim. **

**So- a tad bit nervous about this chapter… for obvious reasons! I hope you all like it…**

Chapter 5

Bella's POV

Running down the block to the apartment I suddenly see the familiar unruly, bronze hair exiting the doors. He glances up and spots me. I don't know whether to stop, turn around or stay on my path… home. _Will he forgive me?_ _Can we fix this?_ Then I see his eyes… sadness, relief, love… it's all there.

"I'm sorry." We say simultaneously.

He pulls me into a strong embrace and buries his face into my neck breathing me in. Reactively, I leap into his arms and wrap my legs tightly around him. I can feel his hard length pushing against where I need him most. _How could I think I'd be able to give this up?_ He sets me down on the ground and puts his hands on my face pushing his fingers into the hair at my temples. He moves his face in front of mine and softly rubs my nose with his while wiping away my tears. And despite the loud, manic city rushing around us, I hear him whisper, "Come home to me."

"Yes."

Holding my hand, he hurries us back to our apartment. While he fumbles with the lock, I take notice of the obvious toll that the last few days have had on him. I feel an overwhelming desire to comfort him. As he pushes the door open, I place my arms around his waist and press my face into his back. Holding onto him as tight as I can, he moves his arms over mine, entwining our fingers and pulling us inside.

As I kick the door shut, Edward quickly turns to face me. He pushes me up against the door with his strong, lean body. His face close to mine, his hands framing my face, he whispers into my ear, "I won't give up on us." And that's all it takes to convince me that we will be alright.

I grab the back of his neck pulling his eyes even with mine, I tell him I'm sorry not with words, but with a kiss. Pulling his soft, full lower lip into my mouth, I suck on it slightly before releasing it and placing tender kisses from one side of his mouth to the other. He whispers how much he loves me and how sorry he is and how he can't ever lose me again. I shake my head and say, "Not now." Deepening the kiss I run my tongue along his parted lips asking for entry and there is no hesitation.

The emotion between us is intense, like the first time we ever touched. My fingers make their way into his hair and his groan of approval urges me on. His hands grasp my ass, forcing my legs up around him. I begin grinding myself against him. He pushes me harder into the door, but I can't get close enough and he seems to be feeling the same. I want to crawl into his skin. As he desperately presses his body against me, I can feel how hard he is. Our tongues continue dancing together rubbing, swirling, teasing.

Working my hands between our bodies I begin tugging on the zipper to his hoodie pulling it down as far as I can without removing my legs from his waist. I pull his t-shirt up so I can feel his skin. Edward tugs on my hair pulling my head to one side so that he can put his warm mouth on my neck, kissing the sensitive spot just below my ear he runs his tongue down the side of my neck, then nips and kisses me on the way back up, gently biting my lobe. I wrap my arms around his torso underneath his shirt as he asks if we can move to our room. I nod yes and kiss him deeply.

He carries me easily into our bedroom. I pull away from the kiss to look around. Everything _looks_ the same, but it _feels_ different. I see my dress in the middle of our bed… as if he's been sleeping with it. I look him in the eyes, then he lowers his, resting his forehead on my shoulder. I drop my legs from his waist and slowly back away from him. He quickly looks up at me… panicked. I feel incredible sadness and horrible guilt for doubting him… for ever questioning his feelings for me.

I unzip my hoodie and drop it to the floor. I toe my shoes off and pull my t-shirt over my head, while he watches me intently. He always loved watching me strip. I unbutton and unzip my jeans and slowly slide them down my legs. In only my bra and panties, I slowly stalk towards him. We have a lot of talking to do but right now, we need this physical connection more. I finish unzipping his hoodie and push it off his shoulders. Running my fingers down his muscled chest over and around his nipples, I feel them harden from the attention. I move lower and grasp the hem of his shirt, quickly pulling it up and over his head. His hands rest on my hips and I place my ear over his bare chest, quietly listening to his heartbeat. For a solid minute we are still, but when I feel the tension between us peaks, I kiss his chest over his heart and move lower, flicking my tongue over his nipple. I work my way down his chest placing soft, gentle kisses along his taut stomach, while I drag my nails down his torso to the front of his pants.

He is straining against his jeans and I want to, no … I need to see the effect I have on him physically. I undo the button on his jeans and slide the zipper down. I kneel down front of him and see that somewhere between the front door and the bedroom door he has already removed his shoes. Sliding his jeans down his muscled legs, I see the evidence of his arousal. I softly tickle my fingers along his length and he groans. "I love you," he whispers. Sliding my hands along the top of his boxers, I grasp the band and pull them down. Edward's dick is just as beautiful as the rest of him and it takes every ounce of restraint I have to not just put him quickly in my mouth. Instead, I grasp his length at the base and slowly lick the bit of moisture that has accumulated at the tip. I hear a soft "fuck" from above my head and I feel his fingers work their way into my hair. I place one open mouthed kiss at the head of his cock and look up at him through my lashes. His eyes are full of desire as he watches me. I feel his hands work their way out of my hair and down my arms grasping me firmly and pulling me up the length of his body, feeling every inch of his warm skin through my every nerve ending. He gently pushes me back towards our bed and the backs of my knees softly hit the mattress. He's looking at me like I'm something to eat and oh, how I've missed that look.

He gazes down at me, running his fingertips along my lower lip, he finally kneels in front of me and stares at my breasts. Under his intense gaze, I feel my nipples harden and then he touches me. I feel his finger caress my collarbone, sliding one bra strap down my shoulder and then working his way over to the other. His fingers trail down my breastbone towards the front clasp and with a flick of his wrist my bra is open and my breasts are free and pert under his gaze. His fingers aim towards my left breast, he teases my nipple with his long fingers, tugging and rubbing. He leans in towards my right breast using his tongue to mimic the movement on my left. I'm breathless from the sensations as warmth spreads through my limbs and belly. And as the heat and wetness pool between my legs, I can't help the moan escaping my lips.

"Oh God… Edward." The love I feel for this man only intensifies the overwhelming physical pleasure.

His hands move down to my legs towards my panties. He runs his fingers along the band silently asking me if this is still ok and all I can do is whisper "please."

He grasps the sides of my panties and eases them down my legs, kissing the length my thigh, to my knee, to my ankle and ending at the tip of my foot… only to work his way back up my other leg.

"Lean back, baby, I want to make you feel good."

I moan as he pushes me back further on the bed working his way back up to my mouth. Our kisses are no longer soft and sweet, they are urgent and passionate. I feel his hardness pushed against my thigh. As I scrape my nails down his back, he hisses then drives his tongue deeper into my mouth. The only sound heard is our pleasure. Edward works his way back down my body, spreading my legs and settling between them. His mouth is on my breast again, sucking and biting my nipple, while lavishing attention to the other with his hand. He scoots back even further, spreading my thighs wider to accommodate his broad shoulders. I bite my lip in anticipation of what I know is coming.

"Fuck Edward. Please…"

"Please what, baby? What do you want, what do you need?"

"You, I just need you. Please… touch me. Show me we're ok, that you forgive me."

"Shhhhh, there is nothing to forgive… I love you and I'm going to do more than touch you baby, but I need to hear you."

My hands dig into his hair pulling at the ends and he groans in response. I want nothing more than to have him inside of me, but he won't be deterred. I feel his tongue just under my navel and then he places a chaste kiss just above where I need him most. I can feel his hands on each of my thighs, his thumbs rubbing soft circles next to where I need his touch and I beg, "Please Edward, please."

"You're so wet for me, baby."

"Only for you, only for you."

"You're mine Bella, I want you to know that you will always be mine."

And then I feel his tongue flat, thick, and hot running the length of my slit.

"Oh… Edward, yes, I'm yours, always yours."

"Hmmm I love your taste. I will never have enough of this."

He sucks my clit and flicks it with his tongue at the same time driving two fingers inside of me and I can't hold back any longer. I lift my ass off the bed and pull his face into me. I shamelessly grind against him while he licks, tastes, pushes and retreats. I scream out as my orgasm takes me and Edward moans into me slowing his tongue but letting me ride out my orgasm. He removes his fingers from inside me, looking me in the eye, he places the fingers that were just inside me, into his mouth and sucks them clean. As my eyes flutter shut, all I can see is his beautiful face. He climbs back up placing open mouth kisses on my body the entire way. When he reaches my mouth, I capture his with a searing kiss tasting myself on his lips and remembering what he just did to my body. I push against his shoulders rolling him over onto his back. I whisper in his ear, "It's my turn to make you feel good, baby."

He groans his response…

A/N

After some threatening emails I have to change my suck statement to **I know you enjoyed that!** *giggle* thanks for reading everyone!

Only one more chapter after this my friends. You can all thank Corey for planting additional story ideas into my brain though. She's the devil!

Follow me on twitter if you like ... at jaimearkin

Please consider following the blogs I work with below. I've been known to hijack and post things I've got going on there…

Indieficpimp - indieficpimp . blogspot .com/

Teambella23 - teamcloserward . blogspot . com/

Wayward Pushers - theficpusher. Blogspot . com/

Twisted in Slash - twistedinslash . blogspot . com/

Moving Pictures - breakfastatbellas . blogspot . com/

Mens Rea - teammensrea . blogspot . com/

Also – please check out the stories I beta for – they are all wonderful and incredible women and the stories are phenomenal. They can be found on my profile page!


	6. Chapter 6

**Stephenie Meyer owns these characters... I just wanted to play a bit. No copyright infringement intended. I don't own Twilight.**

**So this is the final chapter. Thank you everyone for your support, all the reviews and comments have just blown me away and I know I said that with each chapter but it's true. See my note below on reviews – I'm doing them as I can! xoxo**

**Corey, you made my little idea what this is and I owe you... hope the cookies are a good start!**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 6

Edward's POV

"It's my turn to make you feel good, baby."

I groan in response.

It's impossible to think straight with her straddling me. I intended to apologize and explain myself… but touching, feeling and loving her physically seems immediately more important. With my back against the pillows at the headboard, watching her above me, all I want, no… all I _need _is to be inside of her. Bella begins combing her fingers through my hair pulling at the ends which she knows I love, I hiss at the combination of pleasure and pain.

"God Bella, I need you… I need to be inside of you." I whisper.

"I know… I need you too."

She reaches down and her fingers stroke my hard cock.

"Fuck… Bella, please."

"You're mine too you know, Edward. I'm going to prove it to you…"

"God, yes baby, please."

She hovers over me, positioning herself over my cock and I can feel the heat radiating from her. I thrust my hips up in desperate need of contact, just as she sinks down. I feel relief.

It's heaven. I'm relieved that I still have this. That she'll still have me and we still have us… And then she begins to rock against me and all rational thought leaves my mind. I wind my arms around her and hold her shoulders so she is firm against me. The sexy, satisfied noises she makes spur me on, harder… faster. She leans forward and sucks my earlobe into her mouth. As we continue to rock against each other, Bella runs her fingers along my lower lip, slipping them inside my mouth and I suck on them. She continues riding me, while her other hand finds her clit. Seeing her move over me like this, will be my undoing. She begins rubbing small circles on herself, while I grasp her hips tightly and thrust forcefully. She screams in pleasure as I reach up and gently pinch her nipples.

"Fuck… Edward, I'm gonna come again."

"Tell me I'm yours, Bella. Tell me please."

"I'm fucking yours, Edward. Now. Always. Forever."

I pull her face to mine and kiss her hard, our tongues tangle and duel. I flip us over so I'm now above her, never losing contact with her body. Thrusting harder, I can feel her body clench around me as she cries out my name. My own orgasm builds in the pit of my stomach. My thrusts become more erratic, as sounds from my beautiful Bella push me over the edge and I come forcefully inside her. Bella reaches her hand up to my cheek and wipes away the lone tear that has fallen.

Slowly, I slide off of her so we are lying side by side on our bed, limbs tangled together. I hold the back of her neck so that our foreheads are resting against each other.

"Bella, I have some things I need to say."

"Edward, I know we have a lot to talk about, but can we just hold off for a bit?"

"No Bella, what I have to say can't wait, I should have done this four years ago. I can't believe it took almost losing you to open my eyes."

I peel myself away from her and ease off of our bed. I pull both boxes out of the pocket of my hoodie and glance over at Bella. I kneel at the side of the bed placing the unopened boxes next to her. Her beautiful eyes widen and her breath hitches when she looks down and sees what I've done.

"Bella, baby. It took you leaving to remind me how precious you are to me. You're the best part of my life and I want this… for the rest of forever.

I open my box and place it in her palm. I watch her read the note inside that says… 'Please say yes.'

**A/N**

**Thank you again - I want to apologize for not getting review replies out - FFn has been total fail and I get an error every time I try to get to the reviews. I will respond. So please consider leaving one.**

**Also - the question has come up as to whether I will be writing something else. Something may be rattling around in my brain due to the lovely Corey, but I don't have a timeframe on this. I am in school, work full-time and have a monster 4yo at home. Please consider putting me on author alert.**

**Please check out the below stories - they are some more of my faves:**

**Mens Rea: A Guilty Mind by forbidden-fruit81 ****www . / s / 5333232 / 1 /**

**Moving Pictures by breakfastatbella's****www . fanfiction . net / s / 5925609 / 1 /**

**Masquerade by twilightheaded23****www . fanfiction . net / s / 5772153 / 1 /**

**Revelry by Teambella23****www . fanfiction . net / s / 5 679414 / 1 /**

**Doctor's Orders by mybluesky ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 6107382 / 1 /**

**The Weight of Words by georgeygirl ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 5463683 / 1 /**

**The Family Business by Suzs****Petals ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 5722140 / 1 /**

**Edward Cullen: Dick For Hire by FL95 ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 5418026 / 1 /**

**Paper Heart by Hezpixie ****www . fanfiction . net / s / 5827150 / 1 /**

**xoxox - jaime**


End file.
